All The Books I Can Read

1 girl….2 many books!

Review: Operation Foreplay by Christine Hughes

on November 4, 2015

Operation ForeplayOperation Foreplay
Christine Hughes
Forever (Grand Central Publishing)
2015, 352p
Copy courtesy of the publisher

Blurb {courtesy of the publisher/Goodreads.com}

SLOWING DOWN THE SEX-CELERATOR . . .

Melody Ashford hates waiting for anything-especially sex. But after a disastrous affair and a one-nighter with Mr. Micropenis, Mel realizes she’s suffering from some bad bedroom juju. And no amount of hot, casual, or friends-with-benefits hookups is going to fix it. Instead, Mel’s decided to resist the demands of her ladyparts.

Saying no might have been no problem . . . except that her temporary roommate, Jared Myers, is all kinds of hot male sex on a stick. Now Mel is consumed by all manner of dirty thoughts, and remembering why she decided to “go slow” is getting harder and harder . . .

I picked this to read because it looked fun but I ended up struggling with it quite a lot. If I never have to hear the term “lady-boner” again in my life, I will be happy. Obviously the author heard it somewhere and thought it was hilarious – and maybe it is, dropped once or twice.

Melody Ashford loves sex and has quite a lot of it – good for her. Most of the sex she’s having is with her married boss, not so cool. In an attempt to get over that she picks up random strangers in bars, including the one with the referred to Micropenis. Melody’s friends seem a bit bored with her sex life and they challenge her to take it slow, to give up sex for a while and just enjoy the foreplay, the build up. In other words, stop gorging yourself on McDonalds and maybe go out for a nice steak.

Melody’s friend dumps her brother on Melody while her apartment is being fumigated without even asking her, giving her brother a key to Melody’s one bedroom apartment and when Melody comes home, it’s to be greeted by a naked Jared. I think this scene is supposed to be funny but it kind of just struck me as all types of wrong. You’re a guest in her apartment….and neither you nor your sister had the decency to actually ask her properly before just moving in. Rude. And then you wander around the place naked, which is not exactly how it’s polite to behave in someone else’s home. But it’s billed as okay, because Jared is hot. Like, super hot. Really, really hot. TOTALLY HOT. I get it, but I still don’t think it makes much of a difference. It was weird. And a bit creepy.

For a sex freak, Melody reverts to a shrieking Victorian virgin when confronted with naked Jared and there’s a clumsy attempt to make her reluctant to hook up with him because she might possibly like him. The thing is Melody and Jared bicker like thirteen year olds and it’s really annoying. Also, Jared continually references how much Melody secretly wants him which is pretty much the least attractive thing that anyone can do, ever.

Whilst I thought the idea of slowing down, enjoying the build up and holding off on the actual sex was fun, it was so overblown in practice that it just makes me laugh. Melody says she won’t have sex until her birthday which is about two weeks away but you’d swear it was about two decades the way she carried on. She complained like it was air or water that she was being forced to go without and the constant whining about how horny she was and her lady-boner just got on my nerves. It really took away from any chemistry that might have been established because it was all about the desperation to have sex and how agonising it was to wait this looooooong period of time, not to just enjoy the journey there.

4/10

Book #159 of 2015

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